This post secretly goes out to one of my roommates.
Invitations. We get them all the time–via word of mouth, e-vite, text message, or even beautiful old regular mail. Invitations are issued when someone (host, girlfriend, roommate, random dude from college, man of the moment) has taken the time and effort to come up with A Plan of some sort for spending time with you in some way, whether that is attending a wedding, going to the movies, or going out to eat.
Invitations require a prompt answer and deserve a two-word answer: “Yes, please” or “No, thank you.”
In some cases, one might have to say, “Thank you for asking me, I will have to check my schedule and get back to you soon.” Or perhaps a counter-time to let them know you do want to see them, but can’t at that particular time: “Wednesday is bad for me, but I’d love to see you some other time next week–is Friday good for you?” But other than that: “Yes, please” or “No, thank you.”
NOT: “Wouldn’t it be more fun to see that new Tarantino movie?”
NOT: “I hate Rosa Mexicano. Let’s go to Matchbox instead.”
NOT: “I’m on a diet and I’m not sure if I want to go out to eat. Can I think about it for a little while? Or maybe we can cook at home instead?”
NOT: “I’d love to come but I have to bring my ten friends from out of town and we’ll all need to crash at your place because nobody wants to be designated.”
STOP THE MADNESS. There’s nothing wrong with politely turning down an invite that–for whatever reason–you don’t wish to accept. But so often these days, invitations turn into negotiations or a pissing match of “No, really, I’m the busiest.”
Yes, please. No, thank you. Didn’t we learn this in kindergarten?
Good point!! I hate how so many the formalities that used to be a part of daily life aren’t anymore. I adore fine stationary, ettiquette books and the like, and while I try to use all of those things in everyday life, it takes effort and I wish it was just natural for everyone we interact with.